Enchanted
by Girly Girl Star
Summary: Loki is left to the cruel justice of Midgard for crimes he had no ways of stopping, left to grieve the death of a mother he could not save, and tracked by an army he failed. Just as he gives up, a young doctor with a scarred past decides to become his reason to be. The avengers soon discover his innocence, but they struggle to trust the former villain.
1. Lost

Chapter One

Loki does not care when what seems like the hundredth blow hit him squarely in the nose. He does not care about the fact that a man is holding him up, and he does not care that his arms are held behind him on such angles that they must be broken by now.

He distantly knows that his arm had been broken about a week ago, when the men had found him in a helpless heap in front of their door. Such irony, the man who made them kneel, helpless, at their mercy. It must have been a cruel joke. Perhaps Thor and Sif were laughing at him now.

The god feels the pain as each blow connects with his battered and bruised human body, but at the same time he is strangely numb. He does not want to lose that state, not when so many things are waiting for him that are a million times worse than numbness.

**The All Father storms into the throne room, his remaining eye red with remorse, coldly looking at his younger not-son as if he is nothing but a speck of dirt on the bottom of his boot.**

**"Loki," He does not call him Odinson or Laufeyson, perhaps as a sign that he is neither. He is just Loki, the traitor to his own kind.**

**Loki forces himself to look up and stare his not-father in the eye, but for once he can't force a sneer to hide his pain. Why would he? He has no more pride left to his name, what is one ounce of pain going to take from him?**

**"As the king of Asgard, I sentence you to banishment for multiple acts of treason and for taking numerous amounts of innocent life." Odin smashes the bottom of his staff on the floor, making his sentence final. "You are not worthy of Asgard."**

**Unworthy. Useless. Nothing.**

**No, Loki.**

the worst part is that Loki knows that it is all true. It is all his fault, is it not? The All Mother is dead. How could he worthy when he let her die, when she was the one whom he cared for most? while he was left to toil in a cell, she faught and died as a brave queen should. He could not save her. Was there anyone he hadn't failed?

Who's fault what that? His own Pathetic self's.

**Unworthy.**

Loki knew that the humans had brought him here to kill him, as thay had mentioned many times for the past week after beating him until he was a bloodied piece of meat. They had not forgotten to mention this as they tortured him for hurting their friends and families and kind until he expected the hurt and knew that he deserved it and stopped asking himself when Thor would come to save him.

They chanted his crimes every time they came, their fists and boots and weapons accompanied by words that _hurt_ and he would never admit it. They spoke of the countless deaths, the sadness, and Loki didnt even try to tell them that he hadn't meant to do any of it. It was his fault anyways, for being so weak. So useless.

He knew and he hated himself more than any of them could ever hate him. He knew.

The man who was holding him up suddenly let go, and Loki fell on the wet ground, in a puddle of water.

The prince of Asgard, destined to die on his stomach, beaten to dead in a back street of Midgard, away from home or family.

**What family? What home? **

He feels the boot crash down on his chest, and the sudden ache tells him that at least two of his ribs have given away. And he does. not. care.

Loki suddenly realized that it is not water he is drowning in, but blood.

A gurgling scream of laughter escapes his lips, because the thought of dying in his own blood, his own filthy blood, is quite hilarious to think of. The god wants to cry, but it is just too funny.

Perhaps the final thread of sanity in his head has finally been cut. That is that thought that sends him over the edge.

May the all-Mother forgive him for giving up. Maybe he could see her before going to hell.

The metal boot smashed on his hand, breaking the bone so severely that Loki heard the snap and felt a sharp burst of fire and hurt and he couldn't even think_

When his vision faded to black, Loki welcomed it.

Of course he was not lucky enough. The god of trickery felt his life drain out of him, he felt his magic deep within, but he couldn't use it. Perhaps he could, but he didn't want to. What was the point?

He drifted between the world and a painless unconsciousness until he couldn't tell the difference between reality and dreams. It was only in the clear landscape that Loki saw his mothe_ The All mother_ but she was smaller than he remembered, an ugly wound in her side. In his dreams he turned into Thor, an angered Thor_ a hammer on his chest_ and then nothing.

**Little Loki, Helpless little godling, who will help you now? Alone on Midgard, a realm in which you have no power. You are nothing. _Absolutely nothing_**_._

Loki just gave up. He had no one left for him, no idiotic Thor would drag him to Asgard, and his mother was gone. He had no reason to be.

**Scum. Who would ever care for such a thing? Know your place!**

**Loki Odinson? He is certainly not Odin's son.**

**Now that not a single person cares, does he even exist?**

The last thing Loki noticed before he was completely swallowed by darkness was a pair of hazel eyes on his, looking at him with...concern? It must have been a dream. Still, It was a beautiful lie to believe, even for a small moment in all eternity.


	2. Ashley

**Authors note : Thank you so so much for the nice comments! I swear that this will get more Interesting soon, and there really is a plot line, not just bitter sweet love! I can't resist a few chapters of fluffy comfort though! :D**

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><p>Chapter two<p>

Ashley couldn't stop shivering as she wrapped her coat tighter around herself, feeling defeat slowly course through her body and slow her steps. After all those months of Radiation, little Cassie hadn't survived her cancer. A child.

She tried not to blame herself, but the guilt seemed to have a mind of its own. A little child had died. There was nothing she could do.

Sometimes being a doctor (almost) wasn't as nice as everyone seemed to think. Sometimes, she had to be the one to walk out of the room and say those dreaded words, to see someone's life shatter and not be able to do anything. She knew how it felt, because she had experienced loss too.

**I'm sorry, but they didn't make it. I'm so sorry.**

**She couldn't contain her tears as the nurse lowered her eyes. Her parents, her brother. Dead. New York at its lowest. Aliens, monsters, invasion. A crashed building. Screams. Pain. Pain like she had never felt before.**

**They're gone.**

Ashley walked faster, wanting to be out of the alley as fast as she could. It was not safe to be there, not with the bruits and gangs and darkness. She knew of the injuries, the beaten and bruised people who didn't sop shaking, moving as she tried to step closer.

She was almost running by now, the thought of playing victim moving her at such speed. Ashley cursed herself for parking her car this far away from the hospital, were nobody would hear her call for help.

Maybe she was being stupid...What are the chances of being beaten up in an alley the one day that she decides to leave her car here? She almost laughed at herself, but then she saw it. Him.

Ashley ran to the man's side, dropping down in the puddle of blood and thinking about turning him over. What if he had a damaged spine? there wasn't a part of the man that wasn't covered with blood.

She decided that it would be better to save him and immobilize him rather than let him die. Ash slowly pulled him sideways until he was on his back, long back hair glued to his face with blood. She swept it aside, wanting to get a good look at the harm and then she knew.

It was him.

**Mad Laughter as the world burned down, eyes huge with malice and rage. Shattered bones, shattered building. The screams of her family. Pain. Hurt.**

**I'm sorry. They didn't make it. Mom, dad, gone.**

**His fault. Loki.**

Ashley jerked back instantly.

This was the man who destroyed her life. This is the man who's army killed her family.

The god of mischief couldn't stop the cry of pain from escaping his locked lips and his Jade green eyes opened and narrowed in pain and disbelief.

This is a man who needs her help.

Ashley knelt down by his side again, wincing as she saw the ruins of his body. He had broken hands, no question. She felt his chest, feeling relieved as she felt a hearbeat under her fingers, but it was short lived as she saw the place were three of his ribs had broken through the skin, drawing blood.

She suddenly saw the green eyes staring at her, looking confused and...hopeful. Loki looked so much like a child, scared and alone and in pain.

Ashley didn't pause as she took of her coat and wrapped it around his body, noticing that his own mossy green shirt was ripped and bloody. She noticed that his eyes were now closed, and she prayed that he wouldn't wake up because that must hurt like hell and she didn't have anything to numb the pain of a broken...everything.

She grabbed him under the arms and slowly dragged him towards a wall so he would be hard to spot, then she raced into her car and drove to his side, pulling the god into her small Honda.

When they were in front of her apartment, Ashley actually began to think about what she had just done. She had the god of mischief in a child's seat, in front of her house, eight years after his actions ruined her life.

She sighed. There was something about the caged look in his eyes that reminded her of her own expression days after her family's death when she looked in the mirror. There was hurt, of course, but also hopelessness and...it was indescribable.

Funny, it was him that had caused her to look like that, and now she was trying to save his life.

Ashley got out of her car and thanked her lucky stars that she lived alone and that her house didn't have any steps because norse gods are heavier than she would have liked to imagine.


	3. False Hope?

Chapter three

The first thing he notices when he wakes is the blueness of the room that he is in, then the softness of the bed and the smell of something sweet... could it be lavender? All at once, he remembers the pain and the grief that is as fresh as it had been a fortnight ago, or perhaps longer.

Even since the door to the cell opened and the guard informed him about the death of the All-Mother at the hands of the Chitauri. He knew that it was all his fault, it was him that they were after. It was him and his magic that had led them to his mother.

Thor didn't come to tell him, not even the All-Father. The door had shut again leaving Loki with the pain that he knows he deserves but can't endure, the banishment, the disappearing light in Thor's eyes, the sight of Midgard the last thing he saw before he fainted.

Loki doesn't move, doesn't want to lose whatever peaceful place this is. Perhaps he is dead and this is some sort of heaven, but it cant be and be because he doesn't belongs and it hurts. It burns everywhere, and he cant tell if it is the injuries on his body or the despair in his mind that burns worse than any of the broken bones. He suddenly shivered, remembering the dark time that he had tried so hard to forget. A time where he could not even trust his own mind.

"You're awake."

Loki's eyes snap up to the hazel eyes of the girl who has been sitting by his side for however long he had been there. Loki cursed himself for not noticing her. He wonders if he should move but decides that it doesn't matter. She must be here to hurt him, or trick him. He is incapable of defending himself_,_ and doesn't even want to. She must know this, why else would she be here?

"Are you hurting?" The girl asks, her hands hovering strangely close.

He is, but it is not unmanageable. He would gladly take the pain if it would change his damned decision. She is dead and he is here. Such a cruel joke.

why would she care if he was? It must be some sort of manipulation.

"I am perfectly alright." Loki wishes that his voice was not so small. He clears his throat, hissing as the small movement sends a blast of fire through his body.

"You have broken four ribs and cracked two more, shattered the bones in your right hand and dislocated your right shoulder." She didn't take her eyes of him. "I don't know how bad that is by your standards, so tell me how much it hurts so I can get you morphine."

Loki frowned. Why would it matter to her? "If you must know, I have faced worse injuries that what you have listed. I can't see why you would care. "

She blinks, her face unreadable. " I don't know why I care. I shouldn't. I should hate you by now."

Loki knows its true, but can't stop another stab of pain at his heart. Loki wants to open his mouth and let out the cry of utter self hatred that he had been holding back for years. _Years_.

He wants to screams out because he doesn't know what else to do, scream because he just wants to be somebody else, and he hates himself and the monster in his blood and because she is dead and he isn't and maybe because he just wants the girl to stop looking at him with the accusation in her eyes.

"Loki..? I'm sorry. I didn't mean it." the girl says, her tone is no longer cold. She looks concerned, he realizes with sudden astonishment. Why? _why_? She obviously knows who he is, knows how she should hate him, but why does she not? Why?

"You know my name, it seems unfair that I do not know yours." Loki smiles with some effort.

She does not look fooled, but thankfully doesn't ask again. "My name is Ashley Gray."

Loki eases back, feeling the blanket around him, and some part of him wants to simply break and cry, but he knows that Ashley Gray is one of the only people in the world who has not seen him break and Loki doesn't want the concern replaced with pity.

"As I understand, you are living alone here?" Loki asked, knowing it didn't matter and if she wanted him dead all she had to do was leave him outside.

Ashley paused for a moment, wondering if she should lie. Loki wanted to let her know who very good he was at knowing when he was being lied to, but before he could she said "Yeah, just me." and then she quickly added. "And you."

Loki didn't know what to say. "don't you have a family?"

Ashley's eyes hardened immediately, whatever connection they had broken. "I don't have a family. " She snap out, standing up. "Don't try anything on me, Loki." She spat his name out, making it sound like a dirty swear word.

Loki stared at the door that has shut after her, wondering how he messed this one up, especially when it was going so well. It was no surprise though, and it hurt. The fallen prince of Asgard had always made people uncomfortable, sometimes even without wanting to.

He realized that he didn't want Ashley Gray to be mad at him, perhaps because for a second she had seemed to care.

**Why would she? Loki of Asgard, what have you ever done to deserve care from anyone? All your life you only managed to hurt the ones who did. Is it really a surprise that she left? Is it? **

Loki gritted his teeth and stopped himself from screaming as his broken hand wrapped in hard plaster punched a small hole in the wall.

...

Ashley stared at herself in the mirror, trying to sort out her features into what she had from her mom and dad. Sometimes, that was the only way that she knew they had one day been there.

Her black hair had been from her mom, so different from her dad's red, curly locks. She knew that she had gotten her eyes from her mother as well, but her pale skin came from her dad and so did her full lips, now curled in a frown that would have never been found on her dad's smiling face.

How dare he ask her about them? How dare that scrawny, bloody excuse of a god ask about the life he ruined? How dare he make her feel guilty about the look on his face when she left the room?

Ashley sighed and ran a hand through her hair, wondering what she should do with the norse god in her bedroom, sleeping in her bed.

There was no way that she could leave him outside, it would be the same as killing him. Maybe even worse because nobody had truly forgotten the god. But what would she do when he regained his strength and decided the world could do without her?

Ashley shook her head, trying to get the image of his skinny, white face out of her mind. Truth be told, he did not look like the murderous lunatic that had been in New York eight years ago. The mad glint in his eyes were gone, replaced with a shattered look of a man who had lost all he had to fight for. He looked like he did not have a reason to exist, as if he simply had no reason to be.

She tiptoed to her room, not wanting to wake the god in case he was sleeping. As soon as she opened the door, she knew that he was. The smirk was wiped of his face, the purple circles under his eyes even more pronounced now that they were closed. The man was unhealthily thin, and she couldn't shake of the feeling that his cheekbones would break the skin any second.

"Lady Gray, it is not polite to stare."His lips moved, and suddenly the Jade eyes were open and cutting into hers.

"I brought you somethings." she put the items she was holding on the table beside his bed, deliberately looking away from him.

He raised an eyebrow at the bowl of soup, then looked away from it and picked up the book with his hand, but not before she had seen the cut on his knuckles.

With the trained eye of a doctor, Ashley also saw the little indent on the wall beside him and put two and two together. She knew of feelings things that were beyond her, wanting to hurt something, even herself so she could deal. She didn't comment on it.

Loki quickly finished reading the back of the book, and the hunger in her eyes made her suddenly smile, thinking of how the children at the hospital looked at the sweets the same way. Loki must really like reading.

"What is so amusing?" He looked up from 'Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's stone'.

"you." She answers, noting the little fact in her head.

"I am most glad to be of some use to you." Loki's green eyes were mocking, but only slightly.

she shook her head. "Not that way, I just mean that I didn't think you would like the book that much. Most people would be happier with the food, or the laptop."

The god didn't drop the book, but he looked to the table and noticed the laptop and the deck of cards.

"How do I use it?" Loki picked up the laptop, opening it and staring at the key's with confused eagerness.

Maybe he didn't just like books, but learning in general.

"Aren't you supposed to know, Mr magician?" Ashley asks, teasing him a little. Who knew it would be so easy to talk to him if she steered clear of personal life?

"Sorcery has little to do with technology." Loki grinned suddenly. "Would you like a demonstration?"

she freezes. "Can't you heal yourself if you have magic?" Can't you disappear? Cant you just kill the ones who did this to you? Can you kill me?

Loki reads her questions in her face. "No, I cannot heal myself unless I wish to die. Magic requires energy and that is something I don't have at the moment. If I wish to harm anything or anyone, I would die faster than they would."

Ashley wondered how he knew. "Well anyways..."

Loki had already put the laptop back and picked up the deck of cards, expertly shuffling them with one hand, the other trapped in plaster, a small smile on his sick face.

"Do you know how to play Liar, Liar, Miss Gray?"


	4. Tony Stark

Chapter four

Tony Stark regretted his decision to wake up that morning the moment he opened the door to his second biggest workshop and found his fellow Avenger sitting in _his_ chair, a hammer resting on _his_ desk.

"I require your assistance." Thor got up as soon as he saw Tony, who was mentally trash talking himself for getting the norse god an All-Access pass to the tower.

"And I require another four hours of sleep." Tony walked over and poured himself a glass of scotch, but when he caught the god's look he remembered that his suit was nowhere close to him and he quickly back tracked. "But anyways, what can I help an all powerful god with?"

Thor didn't seem to be noticing his alarm. "My brother Loki has been wrongly banished, but I must locate him before it is too late and_"

"Wait, wait, wait. Hold on a second, " Tony blinked to make sure that he wasn't missing something. "You're telling me that you need my help to track down Loki? The psychopath how killed two hundred people? " he paused again. "Buddy, let me teach you a thing or two about how I do things. First thing is, I will not find a nut job that threw me out a window. You might be feeling all brotherly, but let me tell you that I am _"

"No, it is not as it looks. I should have known, I should have noticed the signs." Thor gave Tony a look that comically reminded him of a puppy who had been kicked. "It was not my brother who had committed the unthinkable crimes. I_"

"I'm pretty sure it was him. Most people tend to not wear two feet horns on their head." Tony replied dryly. "It isn't usual to stick someones eyeballs out on earth either."

Thor shook his head. "I do not mean that it was not Loki, I mean that it was not...It is difficult to explain."

Tony sipped his morning scotch and motioned for the god to go on.

" When I came down to get the tesseract from Midgard, I thought that Loki was doing this because of me. I demanded that he gave it back, I told him that Asgard mourned for him. I did not even notice it, and I am his brother. I can not believe that I had been so foolish."

Tony felt that this is going to take a while, so he sat down on his huge chair before tuning back to the story.

"After his banishment, the all-father found out the truth. Loki had been under the influence of the Chitauri for all the years since he...fell. His mind was completely in their power, much like your Barton's had been. I did not even notice the change in his eyes, because I did not ever look at them... I should have realized that it was not him." Thor had that kicked puppy look back on his face.

Tony wondered if he should comfort the god, or tell him that his story sounded like something that would come out of the mouth of a drunk Tarzan on drugs.

"Look, Thor, I get that you're his brother or whatever, but you've got to stop looking for a way to let him off the hook. I know how it feels t_"

Lightning flashed outside. "Do not treat my words as mere denial."

Tony shut up once again, his brown eyes back on the hammer.

"My brother has been unfairly judged for crimes that he has not committed. " Thor took something out of his pocket and tossed it at Tony who ducked before realizing that it was a box of photos.

The boy in the first six photos looked about nineteen at the very most, with sleek black hair and a knowing smile. The part that stood out the most were two green eyes, so different from the blue ones that Tony had seen before.

Then the photos did change, showing him the horned villain who laughed as innocent people screamed beneath him, his blue eyes filled with madness and something beyond..

The last six photos were a whole new story. The man in them was bloody and disfigured, Long frizzy hair covering most of his face but not concealing his shattered but unmistakably green eyes. He didn't even look wholly human anymore, just a broken shell of the boy in the first photos.

Some part of Tony wanted to shut Thor out, wanted to ignore all this. That part was squished by the thousands of little memories of torture that were probably tap dancing on Tony's overused brain wearing Tasha's heels. Tony could never leave anyone who was being treated like that.

It took him a second to connect the photo to the man he had seen, and he didn't even have to be a genius to notice the change in him. Tony suddenly felt sick, sick of the memories and blood and by himself. He carefully put the photos on his desk, careful not to look at the last few again. He didn't want to be sick in front of the god.

"Holy shit..." He gulped, consuming the last bit of his scotch. "When were the last pictures taken?"

Thor didn't meet his eyes. "Two weeks ago."

"Two weeks? Why didn't you come sooner?" Tony burst out in anger, wondering if Loki was still being tortured, wondering how he could stop it. It was not right to do that to anyone, even is he was a lunatic.

Thor seemed to be very interested in the floor. "The All-Father forbade me from coming."

"So you just didn't?"

"The word of the All-Father is law. And..I did not know that what was going on was unjust until a few hours ago.."

"Unjust? You think it's right to torture people?" Tony's hands were shaking and he wanted them to stop. He wanted to smack Thor's hammer in his own face and the All-Father's or whoever and he wanted to go hurl in a corner because he didn't want to talk about it and holy shit two weeks.

Tony stood up, making a list of things he would tell Thor about torture as soon as he made sure that he had stopped whatever was happening to Loki.

"Where is he?"

"I do not know. Something is blocking him from Heimdall's eyes. Father believes that it might be the chitauri that are also seeking to find him."

'Shit' didn't cover the situation. "Okay, okay. Just give me a few hours goldilocks, alright? I have to go call Cap."

Thor wisely stood out of his way as he walked to the door and did not see Tony growl about removing his 'room privileges'.

Twenty minuets and two bottles of liquors later, Tony felt well enough to start thinking about ways to track down Rudolph minus the horns and leather.

Sometime then he fell sleep.

Two hours passed and he was suddenly woken by the image of Captain America standing above him, looking very patriot like in jeans and a workout jacket.

...

"In Asgard, the healers tend to heal, not to cut open."

Ashley grits her teeth and resists the urge to scream at the demigod for not letting her drug him when she was supposed to preform surgery.

"On earth we don't have magic, so I suggest that you let me do my work and fix your ribs, or let me put you to sleep."

Loki does not take his eyes off of the knife.

"Look, it would be a lot easier on yourself if you just let me inject you with anesthesia. It wouldn't hurt."

Loki narrows his eyes at her. "I will not be injected with anything. My pain is not your concern. "

"I refuse to fix your ribs when you can feels it." Ashley glares at the him, wondering what would happen if she drugged him when he wasn't looking or something.

"I would not do so if I were you."

"Can you read minds?" She suddenly felt cold.

"Your thoughts tend to show in your eyes, and you shifted towards the 'Anesthesia' as you were looking at me." Loki looked amused. "Fairly simple body science, no mind reading required."

"Then you can see that I don't want to hurt you." Ashley tried to pretend that the green eyed man did not unnerve her.

He paused. "Your face is positively red."

"You're completely hopeless."

"I am not the one who is trying to heal a man by cutting him open."

"Please." Ashley begged him, suddenly tired of the conversation.

"I_I beg your pardon?"

Ashley didn't meet his eyes. "Please, Loki. I just can't do this when I know that I'm hurting you."

She was expecting some other smart ass remark but she was surprised to look up to see the demigod blinking furiously, as if to push back tears.

"You may use your drugs to ease me to sleep."

Ashley sighed in relief. "Thank you." for what, she wasn't really sure.

She injected him with the Anesthesia and held his hand as he slipped off to sleep, hoping that it had the same affects on him as it did on humans.

Ash wondered if she should have told him that this was her first attempt at preforming surgery.

...

Loki woke up in his own room, realizing that Ashley was sleep in the chair beside him, holding his hand in hers.

He looked down to see that a dark stripe of coloured string woven into his ribcage, and he realized that she had sewed his wound shut. He thought that perhaps her mad method of healing was not completely pointless after all.

The demigod wondered if he should pull his hand out of hers, but decided that it wouldn't matter since she was sleep. It had been years since anyone was concerned about him, much less worried. He should enjoy it while he could.

He had not been able to resist her words after she had said she could not hurt him. It had been pointless, a lie, but it had touched him nevertheless. Loki froze in horror, remembering the tears gathering in his eyes, how he had been reminded of Frigga holding his hands years back when he was still Loki Odinson.

He was starting to slip off to sleep again when he felt something deep within him. Some part of himself suddenly flared and he felt something that brought back wanted to fry his brain and forget, but it was impossible and it was happening again.

Loki saw his hand move, tried to stop it but couldn't. He tried to call out for help but realized that his mouth was sewed shut with the same pattern that was on his ribs. He turned to look at Ashley but realized that she was gone and a dark monster was holding his palm, crushing it, breaking him piece by piece.

He didn't mean to move but his body twisted, his eyes suddenly attracted to the mirror in front of him. He only saw the blueness of his eyes and he didn't want to do anything but scream.

**"Loki. You are useless! Prince of Asgard, how will you save yourself now? There is nothing you can do. imprisoned in your own body. What will you do now? Loki. LOKI_"**

"Loki, please wake up! Please!"

The god sat up in his bed, heart pounding against his chest and recently healed ribs. "Mirror."

"What?" Ashley blinked, wondering if he was going into shock.

"Bring me a mirror!" He gasped out, trying to stay still, trying to feel his body for the thing that was not his own. They had been back, back to reclaim him.

Ashley handed him her makeup mirror, biting back the questions that she had.

Loki's breathing eased as he saw his own green eyes stare at him, strangely mad looking, but his own. It had been a dream.

"I_ I apologize about whatever I did."

Ashley shook her head. "It's okay, you were just acting really weird so I thought that maybe...I don't even know. I just thought that I should wake you up."

"Then I thank you, for everything that you did."

Ashley smiled, her cheeks dimpling. Loki was suddenly struck speechless, wondering how he had not noticed her beauty until now. She had perfectly curly black hair, her huge eyes framed with dark lashes. She was not traditionally pretty, but in her own way she was more striking than anyone Loki had ever seen.

Loki shook himself, wondering if he was actually going insane.

...


	5. Mistakes and Memories

Chapter Five

Ashley didn't know what to believe in anymore. Loki was not the destructive monster who she wanted him to be. She couldn't hate him, no matter how hard she tried. Now all she saw when she looked at him was the bright, eager man who finished the harry potter books in two days and demanded to talk to Madam Rowling. She saw the green eyed boy who beat her in Liar, Liar, and she saw the prince who seemed to be so very broken.

The god did not move from his bed yet, but the colour was coming back to his face. His ribs had healed, along with the bones in his arm. She had removed the stitches a few days back. Ashley couldn't find anything in him that connected him to the Maniac from years back.

She didn't know when he was lying to her, but the stories he told her about the magical Asgard seemed to have an air of truth to them, the stories he seemed to get so lost in as if they were all he had. He talked about the great Thor (with grudging love) and he talked about The All Father (with bitter respect). He was interesting.

Perhaps that is why Ashley was hiding behind his door, looking in the keyhole and watching Loki of Asgard sleep. There were so many questions she had of him, so many things she needed to ask.

_If this is the real you, why did you do it?_

_How could you do this to me?_

Loki tossed and turned in bed, his fingers clawing at the pillow. He moved again, pressing his face against it, his pretty features twisted in anguish.

Ash wanted to go and wake him, but some part of her knew that he would not appreciate the thought of her watching him when he slept. She wasn't sure that she liked it either, her new obsession with the killer prince. With the killer of her family.

Loki rolled on his side, shaking his head viciously. He was having a nightmare, she realized, and she suddenly wanted to help him.

That very second he sat up, clutching both sides of his temples. "STAY OUT OF MY MIND!"

Loki opened his eyes, and any hopes that she had about him being better evaporated. The god started to shake viciously, sweat running down his head and gluing the hair to his sharp face. The caged look in his eyes was almost as bad as the night she had saved him. Whatever he had dreamt about must have been truly terrible.

Ashley drew back from the door, feeling that watching him when he was this vulnerable was nothing short of cruel. She wanted to deny it, but seeing him so afraid and un-composed scared her. Or maybe she just didn't want to think about what could scare _Loki_.

"I know that you are there."

She spins on the spot, hands on the doorknob.

"...Can I come in?.." She asks hesitantly, swallowing down fear as if she was announcing bad news to a patient and was trying not to frighten him.

"You may."

Ashley walks inside, wondering what she would find. Her thoughts did not prepare her for what she found when she looked at his bed.

He was sitting up with his face in his hands, shaking slightly still, sweat running down his green shirt and was that blood on his hands?

She sat beside him, unsure of how close she could get before he pushed her away again. She also wondered how far she could go before coming back.

"I know what you think of me, the monster that you see. Every time I look up, you look away from me in disgust. Do you think that I do not see the shame in your eyes?" Loki's head snapped up from his hands and he leaned back breathing jagged breaths that rocked his slender frame.

She suddenly saw the half moon mark on his hand, the marks of fingernails on skin. Did he even realize that he was doing it? Ashley wanted to assure him that she did not look at him in disgust or shame. She was disgusted by herself, because however hard she tried to hate her family's killer she couldn't and she was ashamed that she was even trying.

Ashley realized that Loki was talking.

"I do not blame you for hating me. I do not wish for you to change your mind, because I deserve it. This and more. You should have left me to die. I am a waste, I am useless, I am a mons_!"

Ashley couldn't stop herself from leaning closer to him, grabbing his jaw and forcing him to look her in the eyes. He looked shocked at her touch, but not entirely unwelcoming. She hoped.

"Listen to me Loki, I don't hate you. You aren't a monster." He shook his head, but she grabbed his thin face with both hands and glared at him. "You're Not! People make mistakes."

Loki stayed silent, as if half hoping that she might prove him wrong.

"What you do isn't who you are. When I first saved you, I was expecting you to be a killer lunatic. You proved me wrong, Loki. You are so talented and smart and_and You're amazing."

Ashley didn't know if she meant any of what she said, but she hoped that she could. It didn't help that every time she said it, she was reminded of him and his army killing her family. She wanted to mean what she said, she really did. She hoped that he couldn't see her own confusion. It sure as hell wouldn't help resolve _his_.

Loki looked down, his face dropping back into his hands, either in disbelief or maybe because he knows. "You must be jesting. Speak the truth, are you not bothered by my presence in your dwelling?"

She puts her hand around him, caressing his mop of sleek dark hair with her hands. "I don't mind. I trust you."

And she was surprised to realize that maybe she did mean it. At least, a part of it.

It seemed as if they had stayed there for hours, her hands simply combing through his hair, his steady breathing calming her, until Loki gingerly sat up beside her.

"My mother died by the hands of the chitauri because they were searching for me, the scent of my magic drawing them close to Asgard. I was in a cell at the time, awaiting trail. I knew that she was hurt the second it happened, but I was not allowed to go to her aid. The guards scorned me, made a mockery out of my magic. I begged them, _begged_ them to leave me and find her. I told them that the All Mother was in pain and required urgent assistance, but they simply laughed in my face and asked me if monsters could feel pain. They laughed while I lost everything, begging and grovelling at their feet."

Ash didn't know what to say. In some dark hidden corner inside of her, she felt that maybe he deserved it, but she squashed down the feeling in shame, glad that Loki's eyes were still on the floor.

She lost her mom too. She had begged for her life as well...but she had begged _him_, and that wasn't something that would help.

"...I'm so sorry, Loki..."

She knew that if she was Loki, she would want to burn the world again for that. Hell, she would probably do worse. She had wanted to.

"I deserved it. It was not the first time I tried to fool the guards into letting me go."

"Did you succeed?" She didn't have to pretend to be interested.

"Multiple times."

Ashley didn't know what made her do it, but she suddenly grasped the trickster's long fingered (slightly bloody) hand and interwind her fingers with his. "What did you dream about? It didn't seem very nice."

He froze. "It was not."

She didn't want to be the one who broke the connection between them, so she just sat there by his side, wondering how all of a sudden she was holding hands with an ancient norse god.

It was Loki who broke the silence. " It seems very lucky that it was you who found me."

Ashley grinned, glad that she had an opening to talk. "It was a bit lucky for you, wasn't it?"

Loki seemed deep in thought. "Yes, it most certainly was. I saw your eyes, I believe, but I thought them to be part of my dream."

"Was it a nice dream?"

He chuckled darkly. "My dreams do not tend to be pleasant, miss Gra_"

"Call me Ashley." She smiled. "It feels weird that you're Loki and I'm 'Ms. Gray.'"

"Very well then...Ashley." He smiled too.

Ash marvelled at how the god's entire face lit up because of that one proper smile, how young and handsome he looked, and tried not to think about how fake all his other ones seemed compared to it.

...

Loki felt the warmth of her hands in his even after she left, wishing him a good night. It reminded him of home and of his mother and of her love. Loki did not wish to think about love, not after every last bit of love he had given freely had been thrown back in his face.

The nightmare's crept through his mind, waking him at night and haunting his waking hours. It could have been worse, he decided, much, much worse. At least he was free to think, knowing that his thoughts were his own. At least he wasn't with them.

The trickster despised the night, despised himself for being weak and helpless and completely at their mercy during the dark, the ghost of their whispers still ringing louder than screams in his head. He kept on remembering the years of being held captive by their forces, the torment that was nothing compared to what came after_

**He couldn't stop himself from moving, from extending his hand and calling forth an army. Thoughts swirled in his head, not seeming like his own. Or perhaps they were. He did not know. He had no ways of knowing if he was slowly going insane, not even trusting his own feelings and thoughts. He was simply nothing.**

**His very mind and body belonged to them.**

**He stood petrified, unable to scream or call out for help from anyone, anyone at all. He hesitated before moving, asking himself if it was really him, knowing that he was only a puppet on strings, knowing that none of his moves would truly be his own and knowing above all that there was no way that he could survive it. Hopelessness was all he felt, hopelessness and burning fear.**

**He couldn't even stop smiling as his life crashed down before his very blue, maddened eyes**.

Loki felt his heart pounding in his chest. He forcefully reminded himself that he was free, that there was no way they could have him now. He would die before they found him. He would die before they had the chance to break him again.

Loki stared at the mirror, the same one she had brought him the night after his surgery. He glared at his sunken features in the looking glass, assuring himself that his eyes were the same green.

The god wished to call down Ashley, wished to beg her to stay with him and never leave. He was disgusted by his need for the small human girl, the girl who was alone, just like him...

Except that she was not like him, not in any of the ways that mattered. She was whole, unlike himself, and she was kind and loving and deserved to be loved back in return, as he did not. She had only done the world good, asking for nothing in return. Ashley was extraordinarily human.

Perhaps human was not such a bad thing to be.

He almost felt bad for lying about losing his magic, but he knew that it was the only way for her to feel safe around him. There was no way that he could use it anyways, not unless he wished for them to find him. Not unless he was leaving Midgard or had a death wish. He just did not want to lose her friendship.

Loki heard the knock on the door, then wondered how long she had stood there before he had noticed. Back at Asgard, Thor would have burst into the room before him saying it was fine, and any of the Warriors three would have left after the first knock. Sif would not have come at all.

Loki suddenly wondered if all of his friends have ever truly been friends at all.

"Enter." The calm in his voice sounded plastic, fake, even to his own ears.

She came inside, but she came with something in her hands.

"I got you a night light." She put it on his desk. "Maybe you can use it to read."

Loki realized that she was under no impression that he wished to use it to read. She must have known about his growing terror of the dark, she had known and brought him the light by pretending that she thought he was brave. He should give it back, tell her that he didn't need the thing and that he could best the night.

He was no coward.

Then he suddenly understood that she had not made him say that he was terrified, she had known and decided not to make him plead. She had brought it to him simply to make him comfortable without him having to lose more of his pride. It was manipulation that she had not even bothered to disguise and...he was grateful.

"I_Thank you, Ashley. Thank you." He said too late, but she smiled nevertheless.

Thank you for the light.

Thank you for your trust. For your friendship.

"No problem. Goodnight, Loki."

She left the room, but not before leaving Loki with another cup of water and a new book by the name of 'The Lord of the Rings'. Loki turned the night light on, mesmerized by the glow of green light.

He briefly wondered if she had meant for it to remind him of the magic that had protected him when he was a child.

He smiled slightly, remembering his child like bedroom in Asgard, filled with books and papers and small things that had been given to him by his mother and Thor and even Odin.

He realized that for the first time since her death, Loki had remembered Frigga with happiness rather than pain.

Looking back, that was the moment that he had felt anything but emptiness and hatred and anger for such a long time. And from the hand of a meaningless human girl. But then again, perhaps she was not so meaningless after all.

For the first time in years, the god of mischief slept without nightmares.

...

Captain America didn't react as badly as Tony had to the news. He had a shadowed look in his eyes, his hands curled by his side, but he wasn't about to faint. To be fair, he must have seen similar injuries at war, and he hadn't been tortured himself.

**Water in his lungs, drowning him thoroughly. He felt sure that this would be the time, that he would die. They yanked him up, let him take a breath before hurling him back down. His lungs were on fire. Fire was spreading, and he was willing to let it spread if it meant that it would end soon.**

Tony didn't want to think about torture anymore, or about what would happen when he saved Loki. He just wanted another scotch and maybe a nice place to sleep.

"How are we going to find him without calling in Shield?" Steve was sitting in the couch in the lounge, his eyes skipping back to the photos on the desk that Tony was trying to avoid in a guilty manner.

"To be honest, I wasn't thinking that far ahead when I called you." Tony picked at his thumbnail.

"Tony...I want to believe Thor, I really do, but when I try to think about it, all I remember is...I mean, I cant get the memories out of my head."

He didn't quite meet Tony's eyes. That bit explains the guilt.

"Look, Cap, his dad and brother knew that he was going through...whatever was happening. They didn't do anything to save the guy. They just stood there and watched until he turned into _that_," He pointed at the pictures without taking his eyes off of Steve's blue ones. "I wont just watch. Not while he is being tortured. Not while they're coming back for him."

The super soldier looked as sick as Tony felt. "They...knew? they knew that he was getting tortured for however long and they didn't do anything to help?"

Tony nodded. "I don't know about you, but I'm going to find him and put a stop to whatever's happening. Its not right, cap. Its not."

He of all people should know that.

"You're right, Tony. I'm coming with you. I'm sorry, I'm just...messed up right now. I was the one pulling rubble and things off of people's kids and parents and family. But of course I'll come. Is there anyone who might help with this? Doctor Banner?"

Tony hadn't thought of that. "We obviously can't call in any favours from Tasha or Clint, they're too close to Fury. Clint would have an arrow in the guys neck sooner than he would say 'fuck'. Thor is helping, but I don't know about Bruce. What if the other guy doesn't take a liking to Rudolph?"

He winced mentally at the thought of another 'puny god' fit, specially after seeing the state that the Demigod was in.

"Then I guess it's just us." Steve said, getting up. "Look, Tony, I'm sorry about what I said before. I didn't mean that we shouldn't save him...Just..." He wouldn't meet his eyes.

Tony understood, he really did. He wished that he could completely forget the moment of hate from earlier, the part of him that had been willing to leave Loki to suffer. Leave him alone to be tortured.

Then he realized that Steve was talking.

"_What if its the truth? that would mean the he was being mind controlled into being a killer and we didn't even pause think about the possibility. Tony, I should have at least thought about it. I'm supposed to be Captain America. I'm supposed to save people from going through whatever it was he was feeling, but I was selfish and stupid and I wouldn't even think. I should have noticed."

All of the 'I should have knowns' coming from Thor and Steve was making Tony feel like _he_ should have known and he didn't really want to think about that bit when he had so much to think about. He was still half sure that he might throw up in a trash can.

"Look, Cap, I know that you're righteous or whatever and I'm not, but I feel you. I feel like crap, because we are the hero's here and we were so bent on hating him that we just took Thor's word for it. But how were we supposed to know? It's not something we could have asked about in passing."

The pictures of Loki as the beaten, broken man and flashes of his own torture were all he could think of, and somehow common sense was not helping him feel better.

Steve nodded, turning to leave the room.

"Wait...You think you can stay here? Just in case...?" Just in case he needs extra help with taking care of an ex super villain who might have never been one in the first place. Just in case he cracks.

He looked like he understood. "I'll be back with my bag." Then he turned for a second before closing the door. "And Tony...I wanted to say thanks. For trusting me with this. And for everything else."

He left after, blushing bright Scarlett that matched his suit.

Tony spared a moment to think about how his new roommate is Captain America, then he decided that he had been roommates with stranger people and shrugged.

"Jarvis, I need a lab with access to my best tracking program, the sightings of man like things falling from the sky for the past two weeks and a bottle of the oldest bottle of Scotch you can track down. No, scratch that, make it two."

"Right away, sir."

"And Jarvis, don't disturb me unless its world war three," He paused. "or Cap."

"Very well, sir."

...


	6. Gaping Wounds

Chapter Six

Ashley's eyes are glued to the screen and she wonders if she should have googled 'PTSD' sooner. She is a doctor. It should have been her first instinct, but she had waited until it was getting out of hand.

The first things that gave her a clue about it was the denial. Whenever she had asked him a direct question, he had either avoided it or changed the subject. Fast.

But what finally got her rushing to her computer was Loki's nightmares, and the way he often stayed awake until at least four in the morning and woke up easily. Then there was the fact that he had finally told her about the trauma.

'PTSD (posttraumatic Stress Disorder) may develop after a person is exposed to one or more traumatic events. The event is commonly relived by the individual through intrusive, recurrent recollections, flashbacks, and nightmares.

**Persistent symptoms of increased arousal not present before.** These are all physiological response issues, such as difficulty falling or staying asleep, or problems with anger, concentration, or hypervigilance. Additional symptoms include irritability, angry outbursts, increased startle response, and concentration or sleep problems.

**Persistent avoidance and emotional numbing.** This involves a sufficient level of:

avoidance of stimuli associated with the trauma, such as certain thoughts or feelings, or talking about the event(s)

avoidance of behaviors, places, or people that might lead to distressing memories as well as the disturbing memories, dreams, flashbacks, and intense psychological or physiological distress.'

Well he sure as hell has been exposed to traumatic events, even if only one fourth of the myths about him are true. And the whole Frigga situation. She has no idea about Flashbacks, but the nightmares and sleep problems are there. The avoidance is something she has seen too, and the phobia of the Dark.

"Oh, Loki." She mumbled to herself.

"Lies."

Ashley jumps, turning from her monitor to find Loki's panicked face above hers. She had not known that he could walk now, but he obviously could because he was out of his bedroom and scaring her half to death.

"You can walk now? Since when?" She asks, suddenly nervous about the look on his face.

He must have sensed the source of her discomfort. His features go blank, a sudden closed mask covering his feeling.

Emotional Numbing? Check.

"Do not attempt to distract me." He narrows his eyes, reading a few sentences from the Wikipedia page. "I do not have a Disorder."

Ashley suddenly understands. He doesn't want to be told that his mind is ill as well as his body. He is...afraid. Afraid of going crazy? Afraid of himself?

She had been too.

"I guess you're just lucky then. I do."

Loki looks at her will his too big eyes, surprised. "You do?"

Ashley nods. "Its called Anxiety. I have panic attacks when I'm stressed. I mean, no one really knows but me and one of my closer friends. And you, I guess."

Loki pauses, looking as though he is considering something. " I did not notice."

"Its not something I would show anyone. Sometimes I just..."

"I understand." And then he frowns. "Thank you."

Ashley shuts off the Wiki page and then her computer, feeling the prickly sensation of the god's eyes on her neck. "Well now that you're walking, can you go and get me my purse from my room?"

He doesn't go.

"Are you leaving?"

His hands are shaking by his sides, betraying his fears. She frowns, not having noticed the Demigods fear of being alone before. She doesn't know if she should be touched or worried. "I'll be back after work."

He nods, his fingers steading. "I will be back with your purse."

...

It had been hours since she left, but Loki was not worried about it because she had told him that she would not be back before 6, and she had left him with food in the fridge.

Loki was in Ashley's room, his eyes taking in the small closet and bed, the desk that took up most of the room, the tiny bookshelf with the little pictures sitting on top of it. The prince managed to take his eyes off of the copies of 'The Mortal Instruments' and 'The heroes of Olympus' long enough to look at the pictures.

They were old, yellowed and stained, but obviously special to her. They were pictures of a little girl and her parents, he guessed. But closer examination led him to notice the similarities between her and Ashley. They were Ashley's pictures.

Loki wondered again why Ashley would not talk about her family with him, and thought that maybe they had left, or maybe she had. Maybe they had hurt her and she decided to live her own life instead of struggle to meet their expectations. Maybe they had never appreciated her.

**I could have do it, father! for you! for all of us!**

**No, Loki.**

But that could not be it, because she had kept the photographs and tried to take care of them.

Loki frowned, puzzled. He decided that Ashley's life must not be as perfect as he had thought. She had secrets and problems of her own. Anxiety. Family. Work. And now him. She had took him in and saved him, despite his mistakes and helplessness.

**Useless Little Prince, who will save you? **

**who would care for such a monster? **

He gently placed the photo's back on the shelf, wanting to be out of the room as soon as he could. Coming here has been a mistake. It was much too small and full and personal for him and he couldn't shake off the feeling that he was choking and wanted it to stop. He just wanted to be someone else for an hour and he hated himself and his pathetic excuse for a life.

The god whipped around, almost running in his desperate attempt to flee from the thoughts. Some part of his brain that was still functioning realized that he had moved much faster that he should be capable of.

Loki did not realize he was falling until he hit the floor and he did not know he was hurt until he focused on his head and saw the blood and it all just too much like the dungeon and the screams and the red_

**It hurt, it hurt and he did not know how to stop it and he was willing to do anything they asked if it meant it would stop and he didn't even know how to properly talk and he tried to call out for someone. He begged, all pretend dignity forgotten. And they never came.**

**Blackness was all he knew, dark and pain and hopelessness.**

**You think you know pain? He will make you beg for something as human as pain. **

Loki shivers uncontrollably, unable to scream for help. He couldn't even if his voice wasn't gone. Nobody on this wretched realm would ever help him. Not here, not anywhere. He just knows that he is alone and that is how it was always supposed to be and__Is there someone talking?_

"BREATHE! _BREATHE_, LOKI!"

He suddenly feels someone cradling him and he feels warm and he doesn't know how long he had been lying on the floor and who is holding him. He just suddenly feels the need to speak and make sure he still can. He opens his eyes.

"Ash_Ashley?"

Ashley suddenly hugs him and he feels her shoulders shake, much like his own has been. He noticed numbly that she was crying.

"I leave you alone for five hours and I come back to find you lying down in a blood puddle." She sobs, hitting the wall next to his head. "You almost gave me a heart attack! I thought you were dead. _Dead_, Loki." Her tears ran down her face and Loki felt frozen because nobody has ever cried for him except for Thor.

"I_I apologize for scaring you..." He mumbles, his arms around her now, and he noticed that her shivering was not calming. "Ashley..?"

She doesn't let go of him, and he of her.

"You cr_cracked your s_skull bone," Ashley finally says, and he feels her fingers place a spot on his head that he didn't know hurt until she said it. "hitting it off the wall. I think you might have he_held your breath and fainted, but I didn't know. I was s_scared, Loki. I thought that I had lost you. D_Don't ever do that again."

Loki felt his own tears gather in his eyes and fall and he, the silvertongued god of mischief, was at a loss for words. He felt foolish now, foolish to think that he had so easily given up.

And then he felt warm all over because she cared. She cared if he lived or died and she was there. He wasn't alone.

"I won't. I was not thinking clearly and I_" His excuses seemed feeble and pathetic. Just like him. "I am so sorry."

She broke away from him and reached up to wipe away his tears and he desperately searches her face for any signs of the disgust he had come to know...and he found none. In her eyes, he just saw relief and somethings he couldn't place.

"Don't apologize." she grabbed a piece of bandage from her bag and placed in on the back of his head. "Just promise me that you won't leave."

Loki put his hand on hers and pressed down on the bandage. His eyes did not leave hers. "I promise."

Ashley let go of his hand but stood up and grabbed him again before he could feel properly hurt. "Lets get you back to your room, Loki."

Loki realizes suddenly that it had been to soon to walk. "I am not sure if I can walk." He admits.

She stops trying to lift him. "It's your decision, but I promise that I won't let you fall."

Loki only paused a second before attempting to lift himself up, trusting that Ashley would catch him before his legs gave out. They did, and her hands were there before he had to ask for them.

She held him tight, as if afraid of him slipping away from his grasp. She did not let him go even when they reached his bedroom, not until he was safe in his bed beside his nightlight and books.

Loki couldn't help but think that perhaps Ashley Gray would not let him fall.

...

Tony discovered that there had been sightings of a man who fell from the sky, over a month ago. In NewYork.

He had hacked shield too, but he had found nothing about Loki which didn't go back to the invasion. Wherever Loki was, he was not in any of the nine Shield headquarters. It had been a month since he crash landed, so he could really be anywhere on earth. Except the photo's had shown patches of grass and streets, so that also ruled out Antarctica.

"Jarvis, how do I get myself into things like this?" He groaned.

"I'm afraid I cannot answer that question, sir." His computer answered.

Tony sighed and lowered himself back into a chair, taking his time when pouring himself a generous amount of Scotch. He tried (and failed) to convince himself that Pepper would understand.

He half wishes that he had a way to track down these sort of situations and stay away from them.

Tony felt like this was a cartoon and a lightbulb had suddenly lit up over his head.

"Jarvis, where is Thor?"

"Mr. Odinson is currently resting in the spare bedroom on the fourth floor, sir."

"Tell him to meet me in the lounge. Cap too."

"Right away, sir."

...

By the time Tony had made his way to the lounge himself, Thor and Steve were both sitting down.

"I, being the absolute genius that I am, think that I have a way to track down The Lokester." Tony started, wanting the break the silence.

"How?" Thor and Steve asked at the same time.

Tony grinned, because Jinx. C'mon.

"Remember how you said magic leaves a trail? Well I think I can build something that would trace it. I mean, it can't be all that different from how Shield tracks the rainbow bridges, can it? I already tried something like this with Loki's older hocus-pocus but it just led back to the septer. I think if he does any magic now, without it, I can trace the abnormal cell work trail to himself."

Thor looks lost, but not as lost as Steve.

"Tony, can you please speak English?" Steve looked like he might have a headache.

Tony rolls his eyes at the pair. "If Rudolph tries to preform magic, my machine can trace it back to him."

Thor doesn't look like this is a huge improvement for him. "Then that is a problem, Tony. Loki will not use his magic. Not under any circumstances."

"Why wouldn't he?" Tony asks. He had been curious about why Loki wouldn't just poof himself away from whoever was hurting him, but he couldn't be bothered to ask.

Thor begins to look like a kicked puppy again. "Father thinks that it is because the Chituari is looking for him, and they can easily trace his magic, as you speak of doing. I believe he fears them and what they will do to him. I should have_"

"Hold on," Steve interrupts. "If they can trace him too, what would happen if he did use his magic? Wouldn't they try to find him too? Who would get there first?"

Tony wishes he had his whiskey, or at least a bottle of scotch with him. "I guess its chance. Whoever gets to him first. Finders keepers."

Thor sits up. "I will not lose him again. It will have to be us."

Tony tries not to feel as if there has been an 'or else' in the god's tone.

...


	7. Monster

Chapter 7

A/N : I just need to thank winter's twilight for all the inspiring comments left on my work, and the sweet replys that followed! If you know Loki and enjoy reading, take a look at her new novel and you will not be disappointed! ASDFGHJKL I died.

* * *

><p>Loki ends up lying down bellow the couch, occasionally flipping the pages of the book in his hands to keep up the facade of reading. He has not taken in a word, no matter how hard he tried to focus on the letters that danced in front of his eyes.<p>

His thoughts drifted back to her. She had saved his life even when she knew all that he had done, more than once. He hated the fact that he trusted her, specially after Odin and Thor.

"Loki..."

The demigod looks up at her without missing a beat. "Yes?"

Ashley closes her book and slides down beside him, her eyes on the ground. "I've been thinking a lot about something that you said..."

Loki ranks his mind for the conversations he shared with her, wondering what his treacherous tongue had let slip. Perhaps she had finally decided that he was a monster and she wanted to make him leave.

Loki forced his shaking hands to still, knowing that he had not given her a reason to do so. He had been so careful not to...

"That night when you told me about your mom...I heard you say something. Maybe before you realized I was there." Ashley avoided his eyes. "You kept mumbling something about a monster.."

He willed himself to stay still. She was going to tell him that she had decided that he was right. That she couldn't befriend a monster. She would want him out of her house.

He did not know yet weather he would beg her to let him stay or not.

"Why?"

This is...not the question he had thought she would ask.

Loki waited for the flashes to invade his vision, but nothing happened. He did not ask himself if he was too shocked to be afraid, or if it was Ashley's presence that calmed his mind. He pushed himself to talk, because there is no reason he shouldn't. And maybe, just maybe, he wanted to talk to someone _at last._

"Have you ever heard the words Frost Giant?"

She shook her head.

"They are monsters of the filthiest kind that shed blood because they enjoy it and kill because its fun. Asgardians despise them, despise the _very thought_ of them, the vile creatures that deserve nothing but death. They are no better than _animals_."

Ashley doesn't stop him from talking, but he can see...something in her eyes. Understanding?

"The All-Father never thought to tell me about how I was never truly his son or the prince of Asgard, not until I looked him in the eyes and asked him were he took me from. I knew by then, the meaning behind the blue skin and such, but I wanted him to deny it. He did not so much as _flinch_ when I realized that everything I had known about myself was a lie, and how I was the monster that I had nightmares of when I was a child. But then I finally realized why no matter how I tried to shine, it was always Thor who made him proud. I was _pathetic_, a fool. All I wanted was to prove to him that I was worthy, and when he came back to save Thor and I from falling into the nothingness of the void, after I told him of all I had done for him, he just looked at me and said 'No, Loki'. I let go. _And they let me fall._"

Ashley did not stay still this time. She leaned closer to Loki and wrapped her arms around him, as if to try and prove to him that she would not let go. When she did, she lifter his chin with her hand and looked him in the eyes.

"I don't believe that you're an animal or less worthy, no matter what race you belong to." She answers calmly, holding his gaze. "You're my best friend, Loki, and you are not a monster. Odin was an idiot if he ever actually believed that, and I don't care what you've done or what you think, You're not. I care about you."

Loki shook her off, gathering the coldness around him and forcing himself to lift the mask that made him human.

He looked at his hand and saw the blue skin and the marks, and he raised his red eyes to the girl who was sitting beside him.

"well?" He snapped, his voice lower than before. "Now that you can see the real me, what will you do? How disgusted you are, Ashley Gray, how afraid. Oh, but I _am_ a monster, you need not deny it. Do not attempt to tell me differently when you can not even look at me. You claim to care? _How about now? _will you leave me, or stay distant and pretend?"

Without hesitation, Ashley looked at him in the eyes, and once again wrapped her hands around his neck, pulling him in for another hug. Loki stood transfixed, wondering weather to laugh or cry.

...

"Where do you intend to take me?"

Ashley pulled on the Demi god's hand and moved him faster down the streets, a grin fixed on her face. It was Loki's first time going outside without horns or a beaten in face, and she knew just where to take him

She had been afraid at first, but it was now evident that the people of New York did not recognize the former villain. She had to admit he looked nothing like the old Loki. There was something completely different about him, and she could not put her finger on it.

Ashley jumped when she realized she had almost passed the book store, and turned to put out a hand to stop Loki.

"Um...This is my friend's bookstore, and she lets me borrow any of the books that I like, so I though I would bring you here and let you pick out a few..."

Loki's eyes were on the books, and the childish hunger on his face was back. But then again, there was something about him wearing every day skinny jeans and a button down that made her think _whoa_.

"Are you enjoying the view?" She shook her head, looking up at the Demi god's lips that were twitching around the corners.

It was too late to fight back the blush that had creeped into her cheeks. "Shut up!"

And it was then the the door to the book store opened, and a blond girl burst out, hands on hips.

"ASHLEY GRAY! IT HAS BEEN A MONTH. WHERE IN THE WORLD WERE YOU?"

Ashley winced, and looked at Loki who stood by her side, a grin covering his face.

"Violet, meet...Luke. Luke, this is my friend Violet."

Loki walked forward to shake the girls hand, looking at Ashley with a mischievous twinkle in his eyes.

"It is a pleasure to _finally_ see you, Violet. Ashley has told me so much about you."

Ashley knew that she had done no such thing.

Violet grinned back at him. "How long have you known her for?"

Loki pretended to think. "We met over a month ago, and she decided to let me move in with her."

Ashley blushed deep red, promising herself that she would smack Loki when Violet wasn't looking. "It's not what you think, Vie, we're just friends."

"...Riiight."

"Anyways, I told Luke that he could take a couple of books from here and I'll return them for him, if thats okay."

Violet moved aside, motioning for them to get inside. "Luke, would you like to go choose a few books while I talk with Ashley?"

"It would be my pleasure." Loki moved away from the girls, looking more interested in the books than in their conversation.

"Ash, your boyfriend is _gorgeous_! I have to get me one of him." Violet looked over. "But you've already moved in with him? That soon?"

Ashley took a calming breath. "Vie, its not what you think, okay? He isn't my boyfriend, he is one of my best friends. I've let him move in so he can help me pay the rent."

Total lie, but she needed an excuse other than 'I've let him in so he would heal and not be taken away by secret agents'.

Vie looks doubtful for a second, but when she takes a look at Ashley's face, she seems to take her word as true. "So...he's available?"

Ashley choked. "_What_?"

"C'mon girl, keep up. He is a hot guy who speaks like a nineteenth century hero and enjoys reading. And let me emphasize on the hotness." Vie looked over her shoulder, winking at Loki when he turned.

"Hotness?"

Vie rolled her eyes. "You've can see, can't you? perfect face, long hair, cheekbones to kill for, what more do you need in life? Not to mention those eyes..Its settled, I have got to get myself a Luke."

Ashley glanced at Loki, surprised to see that Violet was right. He was pretty handsome, even by her standards. "I have to admit, he does have pretty cute eyes."

"You need to get out of the friend zone right now and go over and make out with him before I do it for you." Violet adds.

"I have chosen my books." Loki called out from behind her, and Violet turned to face him, her hands on her hips.

Saved by the bell. Well, saved by Loki.

"Clockwork Angel and Hush Hush, " Violet smiled at him twirling a blond curl in between her fingers. "Not a bad choice. I could help you find better things, If you want..."

"I thank you for your hospitality, and your offer." Loki, probably having taken her hint, looks at Ashley with a look that says 'help'.

"Well, I have to go now, the hospital needs me." Ash calls out, turning to grab Loki's upper arm. "I'll bring Luke back later on in the month. Bye Vie!"

"Enchanted to meet you, " Loki adds. "and I hope to see you again soon."

"Bye Ash! See you later, Luke!"

Ashley and Loki retreat out of the bookstore, getting a safe distance away before slowing down.

"So, I have cute eyes?" Loki asks innocently, battering his eyelashes.

"Oh, shut up." Ashley blushes deep red.

Loki laughs, taking her hand in his free one.

The pair began their journey to Ashley's little house, neither of them noticing the man who was closely following them home, a look of absolute disgust on his face.

...

"Tony, exactly how long have you been in here?"

Tony stark brushed his forehead with the back of his arm, possibly making it look even more greasy than before.

"You know, pep, It was an urgent call." He didn't even try to meet her eyes. Instead, the inventor brushed past Pepper Potts and started to look for his wrench. "So...nine hours? ten, maybe?"

Pepper set down a coffee on his desk with a sigh. "You need sleep too. Whatever you're working on, it can wait. "

"Jarvis, have you seen my wrench?"

"I believe that you are holding it, sir."

"...Right." Tony stood up, putting the cursed metal on the side table and taking a sip of the coffee and sitting down on the chair next to Peppers. "Thanks, Pep."

"Tony, I'm not kidding. Is this," She pointed at the Loki-detector. "really worth staying up for the entire night?"

Tony stood back up. "If it works."

"Why?"

Tony could not keep secrets from pepper. It was so not worth getting her upset. That just resulted in overthinking. And extra expensive presents.

"Lets just say that a certain Asgardian needed a hand trying to find a certain brother of his."

Realization flickered in her eyes. "This brother, does he wear leather and refer to us all as mortals?"

"...maybe."

Pepper eyed him for a second before deciding that his mind was still where it should have been. "He threw you out of a window."

Tony hesitated. He didn't know if he should tell her about the demigod's possible torture, It felt like something private. "Honestly, I thought about that part. For approximately two minuets. But thats beside the point. Look, Pep, trust me on this. What happening to him is bad. I mean, bad enough to make me get up before noon and feel guilty for thinking about it..."

Pepper reached over and pushed back a lock of his curly brown hair, keeping her eyes on his. "No need to explain, Tony. I get the gist of it. Any way I can help you?"

Tony grinned. "You could stop badgering me about sleeping, and possibly make me more coffee."

She smiles back, already somewhere close to the door. "Now you're just pushing your luck. I'll be back in ten."

"What would I do without you?"

"Probably die of dehydration." She answered cheekily before closing the door.

As soon as she left, Tony grabed his wrench and got back to work. "Jarvis, where are my goggles?"

"On your head, sir."

"...right.."


End file.
